31 Things I Learned Under 30
Hi! And Happy New Years! 🖤
As I just got back from traveling to Austin, I thought I would share 31 things I learned under 30 years old. While I’ve spent a lot of my 20’s getting degrees and achieving things, I learned more in the in between moments than I did any of my events, teachings, or presentations.
The last few days of 2023 for me have been filled with lots of stillness. Since Story closed, I have walked in the winter weather every morning with have had really no intense exercise (and it’s been wonderful). I’ve meditated daily, sometimes 2-3x a day, and chased 3 dogs around with absolute joy in my heart, and done a lot of writing and reflecting.
I am so proud of the things I’ve accomplished in my 20’s: Starting non-profits, launching businesses that I have maintained and then sold, weddings and marriages I planned and that failed, traveling to many cities and countries, graduate school twice (of which I just got kicked out of, but that’s an entire other post 😅), hiring 10+ people, failing and succeeding at managing in many ways, a terrible and absolutely traumatic car accident, several writing jobs, different physical therapy jobs, falling in love too fast and too slow, being unsure and very in my head with dating again in my late 20’s, delegating small tasks between it all, dealing with and still overcoming an eating disorder, leading thousands of people over the years in yoga… and a very active social media (which has always stuck and been my favorite).
It’s all taught me so much. So, here are 31 lessons I thought I jotted down after a bit of reflection. These are things I’ll use to guide my 30’s in my future wellness platform, relationships, and future endeavors I decide to take on (since I can’t seem to sit still).
Whatever you want your 2024 to look like, let it be positive. Remember that you create your reality, not. anyone. else. Control what you can and live according to your goals and values. You only get one life, so use this new year as a chance to RESET. I hope these lessons inspire you and prompt you to take inventory in your own life as this new year beings.
31 Things I Learned Under 30:
As my dear friend said to me in a call last week: “It’s just you in your head. Nobody else knows what’s going on in there. Fuck anything and anyone that makes you not happy. You are living for you.” While it’s harsh, it’s true. Do what makes you happy, and if it doesn’t, let it go. Life is too short.
If a relationship isn’t aligned with you in your gut, follow that feeling sooner rather than later.
Do. It. Afraid. You’re likely never not going to be afraid, but I’ve done so much of in my 20’s because I took action.
When depressed, feel it, but don’t linger in it. I did that for too long, which lead to an eating disorder.
Get SUPPORT for an eating disorder and don’t be ashamed. The amount of people I know that secretly purge is insane, but we never talk about it. And STOP judging based on peoples’ bodies. I was actually my thinnest when I had my healthiest relationship with food, and was in the depth of it when I was my heaviest. Bodies show inflammation and stress.
Don’t hire friends if you can, because the relationships will always change. However, sometimes it shows you a lot, too, which leads me to my next point:
Learn from your mistakes and always acknowledge, listen, and learn. This is how you grow better in business, relationships, and overall self care.
Friends will not always be forever, but that’s not always bad.. As T-swift says, “you’re on your own kid, you always have been”. Everything is a cycle, so appreciate, but also be okay with change.
The sooner you are okay with things changing, the more successful you will be at life.
Challenge societal norms and embrace individuality. Nobody made history by doing what others did. The things that people think are crazy are often trends later in life. Be niche. Same goes for fashion: don’t always follow a trend. I grew up in a town where people where the same things and talk and walk the same, and I hated it. I was mocked for (and still sometimes get some eyes) for being different, but honestly it’s a compliment. STAND OUT.
Get. Out. In. Nature. Weekly, if not more, if you can. It’s the best thing that you can do for your mental health that is free.
Move. Your. Body. But only in a way that feels good (know the difference between a challenge and doing things you don’t want to). For years I ran to be thin, only to be thinner when I stopped forcing myself to do things I didn’t love.
ALWAYS prioritize self care and well-being first.
Your patterns are engrained in you from childhood, but they do not define your future. With practice, you can refine them.
In moments where I feel severe imposter syndrome and feel so not enough, I have tools to pull myself out of it: podcasts of those who I want to be like, music, movement, and sometimes screaming into a pillow. All are great.
Eat. Whole. Foods. Processed foods are not normal. I promise, you’ll feel better when you fuel your cells.
You absolutely cannot save someone. You can provide tools, a listening ear, and stay by their side, but they have to be the one to change themselves. Not you.
Motivation, encouragement, and listening goes a LONG way. It’s probably the best skillset in any business setting, whether it be healthcare, coffee, furniture businesses, or social media. People. Want. To. Be. Heard.
Communicating clearly is really hard for me sometimes with certain people, but sooner you learn to communicate clearly, the better you are in all of your relationships (family, friends, romantic, work). However, you cannot communicate clearly if you don’t know what you want. You know what you want by spending time alone doing things you love. Knowing what lights you up. Then, you can say “hey, this is what I need”, which takes so. much. practice.
Write down things you love to do and do them more. Mine are: Sex and the City, baking, photography, lighting a candle, baking, reading, blogging, recording, teaching, inspiring, interior design, taking, family, coffee, and MATCHA.
If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Don’t be wishy washy.
Show up and do the work.
You DO sometimes have to do things you don’t want to do for marketing purposes. Today, you’re successful based off who you know, and that’s a reality. Go out and connect with others, because it will likely lead you somewhere. BUT don’t just go to events you don’t want to all the time, because that can be exhausting, too. Find the balance.
The things that light you up, follow them. But also balance them with practicality. You like to start a business? Find out how to monetize it before you expect to get money from it. Same goes for any industry. Do you research first, but I do believe you can make money on what you love doing. Also, money does make the world go around. It’s naive to think it’s not.
For years I changed my body image so that it would make others happy (lifted, ran, tanned, got my nails done, etc.) Then I chose to create a body that I actually wanted, a style I wanted, home, and routine I wanted. What do you want to look like?
Don’t throw yourself too much of a pity party if you’re now where you want to be. Be objective, and be curious as to why you are that way currently. Look at your goals, strategize, then take action. Mood follows action.
Jobs are not always forever. We’re taught that you get a degree then do that one thing until you die, but that’s so not the case for almost everyone. You can teach yoga for years, but you can eventually stop. You can change your career at any time, you just have to be brave enough and have the resources to do it (and again, always do your research).
DO WHAT YOU LOVE (have I said that one enough?).
Quality over quantity. Buy nice things that last longer. 1000% worth it and when you feel bogged down. I also do yearly purges of clothing/house items, which is extremely therapeutic and reminds me that I don’t really need much.
You are not supposed to be anyone else in this life. You are supposed to be you.
Lastly and most importantly, even if you DO NOT want to hear it: meditate. Your silence is your super power. It is the only reason that I don’t lose my shit when things go crazy or 1,000 things are happening. It’s because I learned to find inner peace in the chaos of life. It’s the best skillset you can have in your life. I don’t take medication, but meditation is a medication for me.
I hope this was helpful to you! Happy New Year. Be Present, be GRATEFUL, and show up and do what you love.
Xo,
B