Finding Alignment (and opening up)

Written By Bethany Davis

Alright, here we go. First blog in a while, but I’m so excited to write and share.

I can always tell when I’m in a good space when I want to create content. When I’m sharing a lot, I’m happy. I can easily sit in the mornings after yoga with my coffee, my dogs, and have a podcast or show I love on repeat in the background. It’s so calming to me. Of course I have to get that daily movement and meditation in, but then, I want to sit, share, and be; a smoothie bowl at lunch just waiting for me to create it.

When I recluse and hide a bit more, it’s likely that I’m processing things and dealing with parts of myself that have come up that I am actively trying to change. Not only that, but I’m now much more present and am more mindful with my time on social media. I so much enjoy time just being with my immediate circle and creating experiences with new people, which I have loved and loved even more as I’ve grown older.

Lately, the things that have been coming up for me (literally sometimes it feels up into my throat) are the issues I pushed down all throughout my twenties: the seeking of external validation, drinking way too much tequila, the over-binging of food, and making sure that everyone around me was satisfied and happy with me. It’s through a year and a half of therapy, a supportive partner, and amazing family and friends that I’ve learned to not be that way, and I am really feeling aligned at 30 years old for the first time (in this way) in my entire life. The past two years have lead to weight gain, what seems like endless self-shaming, and trying to make sure I’m on good terms with everyone. Now with all of the mental work I’ve put in, the weight is falling off of me, I sleep through the entire night, and I don’t crave food/alcohol to just “feel something”. There is an ease about me that I feel really does radiate, and in the most honest way possible, it was ony from going into the dark places in my life and childhood that I didn’t want to process, staying with it, and healing from it.

In addition, meditation has been a life savor for me. I push meditation so much because it’s the only way I’ve found true inner peace. When we sit and become still, we get to access our true selves: the part of us that isn’t identifying with all of the outer things. You get really just get to be in that stillness and peace. It’s only from that still, authentic place that I personally can go out into the world and be less anxious and make decisions that aren’t to please everyone else. It also helps me to create, to not lose my shit in the crazy moments, and to let go of all of the things that don’t make me feel good, which I can do much easier now.

So the two main ways to finding alignment is to process the things you don’t want to feel without numbing it down, whether that be with social media, TV, food, drugs, or a busy schedule. The other way is to take time to be still and find your true self, no what the world tells you you have to be or do. I promise you, it’s so damn worth it.

Here are some tricks and tips (and resources) that have helped me over the past two years:

  • Meditate. Every single day. Even if it’s just 5 minutes, but try for 10-20 minutes if you can squeeze it in (and almost all of us can). Guided mediations are great, but you can also just sit in silence to some music before the sun comes up. Finding that peace and stillness before the day begins is so, so healing.

  • Move your body. Over the past two years I started forcing exercise that didn’t feel good again, which led to weight gain and not feeling great due to inflammation. It always does. I used to be bigger when I was younger just because I forced exercise. For me, light weight body movements and yoga for about 30-40 minutes a day is great. Cardio through swimming or a short jog 2-3 days a week feels best to me too. When I can listen to my body is when I look and feel the best, and it changes day to day. Sometimes I want a slightly intense cardio, sometimes I want stretching. My best routine is when I do yoga 3-4 times/week , some light weights, and swimming 2x/week.

  • Sit with your shit. When you feel uncomfortable, don’t run, but question. Become curious. Why do I feel the need for someone to like me? It’s often because we’re insecure with ourselves. The truth is: somebody is always going to not like you. The question is, do you like you? Take everyone else out of the equation and truly ask yourself that question. It takes time, but once you are comfortable with the uncomfortable and start doing things for yourself, it’s a complete and total game changer.

    • Mental Health and Podcast Resources:

      • Of course, I highly push meditation, especially my favorite one I’ve recorded on your True Self versus your Ego Self. I swear by all of the work from To Be Magnetic. I have been doing their work since 2020 and I can truly say that it has changed my life. They have several workshops on Inner Child, Relationships, and just discovering yourself in an authentic way. I couldn’t recommend them more. I also swear by Joe Dispenza’s books and meditations, and podcasts I love that help me truly love myself for who I am and encourage me to sit with my own shit is Mona-Vated, The Rich Roll Podcast, Move with Heart by my favorite Melissa Wood Tepperberg, the Feel Good Podcast, and Dear Gabby for all things spiritual and sitting with your shit. Trish Barillas also has amazing resources for anxiety.

  • Less time on social media and less alcohol. Like I said above, I still share quite a bit on social media, but from a much more mindful, authentic place. I know well what will get likes/views, but it’s not about that. Just post and have fun with it. Social media used in the wrong way is quite literally THE best way to mess up your mind through comparison. The more you put your damn phone down and live the life that is right in front of you, the happier you will be, I promise you. I also just recently gave up alcohol with support from friends, my partner, and my therapist. My relationship with it just wasn’t healthy and was starting to effect my daily life (and sleep). And I can tell you from a very short period of time in a sober journey, I already feel so much better and more myself. Alcohol is just one of those things that can make you fun for a second, but when you wake up feeling like shit the next day and start to just not be yourself, it’s so not worth it.

    • Resources on quitting alcohol and the effects of social media:

      • Listen to anything Rich Roll talks about in sobriety and you’ll want to quit, too. Melissa Wood-Tepperberg’s podcast on living life without alcohol is also amazing and one I go back to over and over again. Andrew Huberman recently broke down the effects of social media on our brain in a podcast and it was so insightful. I also loved Michael Chernow’s story on becoming sober. Arielle Lorre’s story is also mindblowing and an episode I go back to over and over again. I LOVE her podcast. One of my best friends just had a baby and I think that that sobered me up a bit, but also I have many friends in their 30’s and 40’s that just don’t drink because they feel so much better (and skin is GLOWING) without it. I would most recommend changing up who you hang out with if you ever feel pressured to drink.

  • Get out of your own damn way. Last but not least, I tell my clients/patients all the time: You have so much more power than you think you do. If you feel anxious and depressed, the one person that can change it is you. If you can get out of your head and into your own intuition, you move from a much more authentic place. It’s our own heads that stand in the way of our happiness. I would make a grocery trip, time to see a friend, or something else I generally loved throughout the day so much harder because I wasn’t patient and let anxiety take control. When I realized that all the aspects in my life that were hard were my own doing, I took my power back and focused on not making it so much harder for myself. You can do that too. I just takes practice and focus on yourself, which you 100% deserve. Life should be fun, joyful, easeful. Do you what you LOVE! And don’t stand around for anything that doesn’t make you feel good.

I hope this was helpful. Let me know in the comments below what your obstacles are or ways that you find alignment. And I hope you have an amazing, aligned, and AUTHENTIC day. 🖤

Xo,
B 🖤

Bethany Davis
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