Getting Out Of Your Own Damn Way
The harsh reality is that nobody is going to save you. It’s you that has to become stronger on the inside with your daily actions, who has face the harder and uncomfortable moments in your life, COMPLETE the tasks, even when you don’t want to.
You then realize that you had the power all along inside of you — the strength and skill didn’t come from anyone else. It was developed from continuously showing up, every single day, even when you didn’t want to.
Running your own business can seems like such an impossible task, to be honest. Plus, on top of being an ADULT? All of it combined can be the a recipe for the highly sensitive person’s easy overwhelm. I know that can sound silly since my business is technically small and I don’t manage people, and I have SO much to be grateful for in my life, but I won’t lie sometimes the simple tasks of making a content plan, simply paying my phone bill, being in a relationship and caring for 3 dogs, running two social media accounts and even just messaging a person to promote my business can all seem so overwhelming. And we’re about to add a baby on top of that (what?! Still can’t believe it it’s so crazy!). Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but I can very easily become overwhelmed if I’m not careful, ending up paralyzed and not doing anything at all.
It’s ironic is that seeing patients and getting a Doctorate degree sometimes actually seem easy in comparison to creating, learning, and growing my own business and following my passions in life. With school, at least I had a goal and was told what to do — with a creative business or book, it’s just you! Don’t get me wrong, I love it 10,000 times more, but it is harder harder! Not getting overwhelmed is a daily reminder I have to tell myself, and I would say I am success part of the time (growing, but still have my days🫶🏻).
As someone who was diagnosed with ADHD later in her life (as many women are), I now realize why it was so hard for me to read in school! My mind jumps from one task to the next more than the average person. I might be thinking about organic swaddles one moment, then shift thank you notes I need to write, then a Facebook Post, my finances, or uploading a YouTube video — all within the same few minutes. Focus can be fleeting! And social media doesn’t help. In the past when it all became too overwhelming, I used drinking, binge eating, procrastinating, TV shows, or simply just giving up on it all as a coping mechanism to get out of it — quickly. However, having not had alcohol for 8 months, watching much less TV, moving (which helped tremendously, to be honest), years of therapy, and more recently just working on myself and my own independence, I realize now that 99% of the time, it was just me getting in my own damn way.
The harsh reality is that nobody is going to save you. Nobody is going to take your anxiety away (long term), complete your tasks in following your dreams, or stand up for your time or boundaries. It’s you that has to become stronger on the inside, to face the uncomfortable moments, complete the tasks, and then realize that you had the power all along inside of you. Nobody else is going to pay your phone bill, nobody else is going to upload that Instagram video that you want to upload. The strength and skill didn’t come from anyone else. It just came from continuously showing up, every single day, even when you didn’t want to. When it all seems overwhelming, focus is the priority. How can you put down the distractions and start checking things off of the list, one freaking step at a time?
At this current moment, it’s 4 AM when I’m writing this. Do I wish I was sleeping? Absolutely. But I couldn’t, so I woke up and started to get things done. I didn’t mope (even though I wanted to) or turn to my partner to wake him up and complain about my pregnancy (again, even when I wanted to!), but I asked myself, “what can I get done right now? What would help me feel better? What can I do to shift this energy? (hence the writing! and a good morning walk after this)”.
So, I uploaded the Instagram video, paid my phone bill, ordered the organic swaddles in Theo’s closet, and went for the walk. I didn’t let my anxiousness stop me, when in the past, I would have used every victim excuse to justify to myself and others why life is so hard.
It’s you that has to change you. It’s YOU that has to get the tasks done. Up until very recently (I am currently 31) I have relied so much on the validation or saving from others of why life is so hard or why I can’t accomplish my goals, but really it was just me the entire time standing in my own way.
Life is busy, not always convenient, and the stresses of daily life can be so overwhelming in many situations. Your finances will fluctuate, your sleep will be fleeting (manifesting a deeper sleep schedule for myself so soon, even with Theo), people will disappoint you and relationships might end. But at the end of the day, your dreams, your tasks, and most importantly, your attitude and energy are entirely up to you. You can’t control what life brings you, but you can control what you do about it.
What if, instead of complaining about all the of the time you don’t have, you just used your time more wisely? What if you shifted your own energy to become the person that you want so badly to be?
It all starts with you.
Go for the walk, write the blog, and I would say the biggest takeaway at 31 is to stop relying so much on sympathy and validation from others. Let praise be amazing and let relationships be a bonus, but it’s your relationship with yourself and how proud you can make you that matters. It’s when I am connected with myself that I’m also most connected with a God above, which is another blog completely, but so true.
Get out of your own damn way. You are amazing and capable just as you are. 🖤
XO,
B