31 Lessons I’ve Learned at age 31
Today, I am 31, which is INSANE to me!! I don’t feel 31, but at the same time I feel like I have been 60 years old since I was 15 (I was always an old soul). I have had many friends that were older than me when they turned 30 and it was always something that seemed to be dreaded. However, I have loved my 30’s so far. In your twenties, you’re figuring out what you want to do and trying on many different hats. Even so I’m still figuring out a lot of that 30 years old. Your twenties are when you try on different hats and outfits and say, “well that one was nice, but it doesn’t fit quite right anymore”. And then, you try on new ones. I tried on the marriage hat, the non-profit scarf, the doctorate coat, and the coffee shop owner apron. I still wear some of those, but not some, and I love that I got to wear them all.
For example, I love fake nails but hate how they feel. I love working out in the mornings. I love fasting - despite the judgement I get when I do so - and I won’t miss a week of therapy if my life depends on it (love you, Mike!). I love coffee in the morning, but silence at night, and I’m the girl that’s going to have the red light therapy bulbs, mouth tape, and be mindful of the seed oils and water contaminants and not consume them, and I’m also okay with that. Year 30 is also where I really owned my anxiety and depression and didn’t try to push it down, which was huge. I’ve had it for as long as I can remember and am very good at coping, but to own it gives you a lot of power back - and it has. I have also read a lot this year, and I have a lot more direction and guidance for 2025, which includes more writing, because I’ve missed it.
While I’d don’t think I have the perfect “outfit/wardrobe” now after trying on so many hats, it’s much more me than it was in my 20’s. I feel much more grounded in who I am, not who I feel like I have to be. That person is often quiet, slow to respond, and says no lot more. She also does what feels right in her gut and is much more expressive artistically, not as much medical focused (or not so in the traditional sense, I love all the “woo-woo” things). I can’t wait to see what year 31 has in store for me as I continue to discover myself more and more each day. Life is a journey in getting back into your authenticity, but it doesn’t even have to be your birthday to figure that out. You can do that every single day.
Anyways, I love you all so much! Thank you for following along my journey into year #31. Here are 31 lessons I’ve learned in my life that I thought I would write down. I hope you enjoy and I’ll see you in 2025. 🖤
Being successful in a career doesn’t have to be medical or traditional. The “ooh’s and ahh’s” from the prestige of the traditional careers does not mean you succeeded if you aren’t happy in your day to day.
People are going to tell you so many ways to live your life. Take some of it in but mostly just go with what feels right in each moment. Your intuition is a strong thing.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself and where you are to others peoples lives. Freedom is to not do that keep your head down and focus on what you LOVE. That is how you succeed in life.
People will like you or hate you no matter what you do or how hard you try.
People that blame you for their own mistakes are just not able to own up to their own.
Drinking is the best thing and the worse thing. Best at 1-2, the worst at 3-4.
It is okay to change your mind. As many times as you need to. That one needs to be repeated.
You will never be happy in a relationship if you aren’t happy with yourself.
Ariana Grande said it best: Be your own best friend first. At the end of the day, it’s just you and you.
Depression and anxiety are okay. Life is hard It’s really important that you own it and have support/tools to cope with it.
Friendships will end, and that is good. The friends you had in high school or at work may not match the life you want to life now. It is normal to go different directions.
Be as loud as you want to be in this life. If you’re dimming yourself for the comfort of others, work your way out of that shell slowly. It’s boring to be boring.
If you want to change something in your life, the only person that is going to f*cking change it is you. End of story.
One day you’ll wake up and realize that whatever you thought wasn’t possible in your life actually was with really small steps and courage to take each one.
If it feels wrong in your gut, figure out whether it’s fear or if it just feels wrong. Get REALLY good at distinguishing the two. Very important.
In your hobbies (and work to a certain extent), say no to every single thing that doesn’t light you up.
Find podcasts you love or things you are so obsessed with and do them daily. What is the point in life if you aren’t doing the things you so deeply love?
Gratitude shifts everything — focus on what you have, not what you lack. Get into the “I get to” mentality instead of “I have to”. If you’re reading this blog, you are priveledged.
If you’re living for the Facebook or Instagram post, just stop. Look at your own feed and ask yourself: do you love it?
Life is a constant evolution of knowing yourself. Wake up and ask yourself, how can I know myself better today?
When people are mean, they are just broken. Have sympathy for them, but let them figure out their own way.
Growth is normal and good, just uncomfortable at times. Like a craving or a certain emotion you don’t like, if you sit with the discomfort long enough, it passes, I promise.
Laugh or hug someone every single day.
MEDITATE. Get to that point where you are connected to a source above you and absolute silence. It’s my superpower, to be honest.
Dogs are great but also expensive, but they are worth it if you love them and can balance them in your lifestyle.
I would say this one is one of the most important: do something that makes you joyous each and every day. Whether it’s writing, singing, watching a show you love on Netflix, making coffee, gardening, or zen music, just do it.
Speaking of zen music, your home is your sanctuary, treat it like so. I feel as though if your home isn’t a space that you love going to, it’s not really a home. I love making my home almost feel like a modern, calm, spa. I look forward to being at home in it every day.
Speaking of sanctuaries, your body is the temple that you have to live in. Fuel it with nourishing foods, and your entire life will change.
It’s probably smart to invest in the market!
Do not every apologize for being who you are.
Lastly, age and life is a privilege. Even if your life hasn’t looked like you wanted to, you have the future ahead of you, if you are so lucky. What do you want your life to look like? Get super clear on what that is, then go create it.
Love,
B 🖤