Sometimes, I Stay at my Parent's House
For those who don’t know me or haven’t followed my journey for long, I was in a pretty traumatic car accident in April of 2021. The car accident left me unable to walk for a bit of time, especially up stairs, so Brent and I ended up staying with my parents for 6 weeks since they have a bedroom on the first floor.
Brent and I live downtown, and while I absolutely love it, staying in my childhood home for 6 weeks (as an adult) was one of my favorite periods of my life, despite the horrible pain. When I tell people that, they look at me funny sometimes. You enjoyed staying with them? Not having sex? Living in the the few same pair of clothes, doing nothing really but school and walking? Doesn’t that bore you? Didn’t you miss your downtown life and community?
Of course I did! There is a balance of everything in life. I thought a lot about this when 2021 ended and I reflected on the year. I always ask myself when was I the happiest and when was I the most stressed. Then, I try to bring more or less of things into my upcoming year accordingly. And honestly, one of the happiest I had been was during that time at home, with my mom every single day, studying what I love all day, seeing Brent and my dad at night as we all ate dinner together, going on after-dinner walks and doing meditations that healed my mind and body.
As someone who is constantly going, doing, and seeing others (which I do love!) life quite literally forced me to slow down during this time. It was spring, and we started a garden together (Lol, you can picture me in my wheelchair in the grass). I was surrounded by green, by the quiet of nature, and was in the home that I grew up in but looked at it in completely different way. I was surrounded by my grandmother’s belongings and photos of my family, since I stayed in her bedroom. It wasn’t until this reflection that I realized how much I need stillness in my life.
When 2022 came around, I knew that I had to spend more quality time with my mother and father, no question about it. At 28 years old, it took me this long to see them as friends and people that I need to make a constant effort to see, because I always feel good and at home when I am with them. It’s a sense of inner peace that I can’t really describe in words, but you know that deep tranquil feeling you have with certain people in your life.
I knew that I needed to do more of Joe Dispenza’s meditations. I did them every single day while I healed and they completely changed my life. I would do meditations from his book every morning and listen to a free, beautiful sleep track on Insight timer. It takes 20 minutes, but I am slowly getting back into incorporating them instead of guided meditations (I already feel the suchhhhh an energy shift by incorporating them back in).
The third thing I also now incorporate in my life is spending more time in my childhood home, especially since I have the luxury of only being 15 minutes away from my parents. This place, which I am typing this from, is where I am the happiest, and still am. I LOVE my space downtown and want to be there, too, but I also need to be at home more. We often look at our childhood home as a place where we grew up and maybe uncomfortable memories from childhood lie, but you have to remember too that that place shaped you to be the person you are today, no matter what that looks like (I also do very well switching up my work environment, as I sometimes get stagnant and unmotivated in the loft…)
Finally, I told Brent and my parents at the beginning of the year that I would be spending more time here than I normally did because of the high energy it brought me. It recalibrates me, and it humbles me. It is now a simple reminder of slowing down and how much power I have to heal from anything.
Obviously, Brent and my parents are both fine with it, but other people (even my therapist) always look at my phone when I tell them, Sometimes, I stay at my parent’s house.
Here’s the main point: nothing is wrong with Brent or I’s relationship that would cause me to need to retreat from him at to my parents. Actually, you don’t have to spend every night and every week with your partner. In fact, I encourage you not to. I appreciate Brent and I’s relationship and that we can do that, because we are not codependent people. Our relationship actually grows when we aren’t constantly together going through the same routine.
Our relationship also grows just because I am in a better mental space, often so is he. I love my space, and he loves his. So when I tell him I am spending a few days with my parents, we think nothing of it. Nothing is wrong with our relationship. I love him just the same, and often appreciate him even more. Jude loves it too, since I can just walk her without a leash and loves my mom and dad almost (almost, but not quite) more than me.
I am sharing this because I want you to go where your energy feels good, no matter what that looks like to you. I’m also sharing to remind you that you don’t have to fit into some sort of box in how you or your partnership operate. Do what makes you feel good in your life, and consider, but politely decline any resistance you may get from the judgement of others.
Finally, after deep reflection, I will probably be out of our loft by the end of the year… Or at least I hope to be. A home surrounded by nature calls, and I am manifesting that very soon.
Sending you all so much love, light, and peace.
XO, B