Alone But So Together
Currently, I am in a weird place in my life. I say that….but I realize now I don’t know if I’ve ever been in a “normal” place in my life ever! Give me the weird!
I am no longer practicing as a physical therapist (the career I spend years on). I am not really getting paid to blog/write but spend hours each week doing it, and my two businesses are just truly beginning (the online platform and the coffee shop). I am currently separated from my partner (we are both growing), my eating disorder re-sparked itself at the beginning of 2022, but it’s finally back under control, and I spend a lot of time alone in my loft but with 10,000 things to do.
Life has a beautiful way of working, though, and I trust it completely. Currently, I feel the most alive and the most happy that I have ever been. Even though I struggle to pay my bills each month, I truly wouldn’t go back into the clinic right now. I love being in a naturopathic medicine school and learning everything I can about it. I love the time I spend writing, creating recipes, working with clients on their nutrition and lifestyle, and I absolutely building these two wonderful businesses.
However, when life gets this busy and dense, it’s easy to go fall back into old numbing patterns. It’s easy to be too hard on yourself. Anxiety will arise. Anxiety is 100% normal, but it doesn’t always feel “normal” because society tells us to push it down, and we only see the highlight reels on social media.
I listened to a podcast this morning with two my favorites: Melissa Ambrosini and Glennon Doyle. If you follow Glennon’s work at all, you know her famous quote: We can do hard things.
I have repeated that quote in my marriage, during my accident, while switching careers, and while overcoming my eating disorder. Other empowering women in my life that I love and adore also repeat this quote to themselves because life can feel so challenging… there is no denying it, beauties. But we can do things that seem and feel hard, and we do come out stronger on the other side.
But let’s pause and look at the quote for a minute: It says: We can do hard things, not I can do hard things.
I, alone, can do hard things. I can sit here right now and write when I don’t have to. I can overcome an eating disorder. I can learn to walk with multiple sacral fractures. I can be separated from a partner. I can start an online business to pay my bills. I can do all of that, but I could never do it alone.
There is a beautiful irony to self growth. Ultimately, only I change my habits, but I would never be able to change my habits and go through hard things if there was no We.
When the accident happened I persistently preached three pillars to optimal health: Nutrition, Movement, and Mindfulness. I knew that if you consumed the right foods, moved your body, and did the inner work with meditation and mindfulness, you had the tools to become your absolute best self. And I was right, I really was. Those three things alone are 80% of what you need to be your absolute best self and change your patterns.
But I could never dive into the inner work if I didn’t have the external support. Ever.
I could not have healed fully from my accident if I didn’t have a loving family that carried me in, friends to bring me food and build me a wheelchair ramp, or a tribe that visited me every single second that I needed support. Right now, I couldn’t open a business without asking for help, mentally and physically, to record videos, build things, and chat with my at night about the challenges I was facing.
You are alone in the fact that only you can face your demons. Only you can do the inner work to change your eating disorder, handle your anxiety, pull yourself out of a depressed period, and change how you view yourself. Only you can heal your childhood wounds, grow as a human, and create your best life. Literally, only you have that power.
However, you’re not doing it alone. You must recognize, appreciate, and love others around you, and you must allow yourself to be loved. You cannot be afraid to ask for help, and you can never be too proud or busy to encourage your friends and your inner circle. Because guess what: we all need encouragement.
If something feels hard, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t for you. It doesn’t mean that you should quit. Things are hard, and that’s just part of being a human living your life in this world. You will ultimately face resistance, and you have to root down into you and overcome it. When you’re rooting down and doing that inner work, you just root down into your community, your we. Your community is everything.
Whatever you feel like you’re going through alone, I can guarantee you that someone else is also going through it alone, too. And that should bring a slight sense of peace. We’re doing it alone, but together.
Community is my fourth pillar. You must work on yourself, but you also must know that everyone is working on themselves. Your struggles are to be worked out by you, but we are all collectively working on ourselves.
When we remember that we are not alone, you can encourage others. Together, are more motivated to go on the inner journey that brings forward our absolute best, most authentic, beautiful selves.
Because you ARE beautiful, you’re worth the work, and you’re never truly alone.
Xx, B